OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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