Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
