Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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