community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
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