Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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