I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
