He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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