Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
