i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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