I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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