I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
