You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize