I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
