Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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