I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
