i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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