I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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