told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
