she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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