Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
