were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
