Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
