wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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