I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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