Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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