Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
