I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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