I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I can't turn off my feet"
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
