Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
