We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
