Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
