dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
