spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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