yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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