I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
In America we eat man semen.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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