You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
she smelled like a LAN party
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Someone signed my nipple.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
