How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You pole danced in your parka.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
