We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
