Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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