Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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