yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Randomize
