he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
