Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
