Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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