just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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