it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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