Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize