He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
