so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
