Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
