paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
