Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
