all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
