i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
