I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Michael Bay diarrhea
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
