Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
