Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
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