I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
