Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
