Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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