Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize